May 2013
4 posts
1 tag
7 tags
Pain & Gain (2013) review
Pain & Gain answers the question, “does a film’s protagonist have to be a hero?” Answer: Nope. No heroic traits are evident (or even hinted at) in the trio of muscular sociopaths who are the protagonists of Michael Bay’s “based on a true story” movie. Nobody else seems very heroic, either, with the exception of Ed Harris as a retired detective, but he’s hardly the central character of this...
5 tags
Iron Man 3 (2013) review
Not exactly an “Iron Man” aficionado, I didn’t see Iron Man, was underwhelmed by Iron Man 2, but my goodness, Iron Man 3 is a very good film. It’s not great, it didn’t move me profoundly, and it won’t provoke intense intellectual, philosophical, or emotional discussions, but it is extremely well-made, actually has characters who change and evolve, spices up a clever script with numerous witty...
2 tags
The Lords of Salem (2012) review
Essentially a pastiche of Rosemary’s Baby, The Lords of Salem is visually impressive but lacks a strong narrative. The result is oddly uncompelling, not “scary,” and narratively superficial, but never dull and not unpleasant to watch, go figure.
Heidi (director’s wife Sheri Moon Zombie, which sounds like the name of a Nickolodeon animated series) is a late-night radio host...
April 2013
4 posts
4 tags
Oblivion (2013) review
Do audiences really care about the technical aspects of films? Does anyone make a decision to see or not see a film based on IMAX, 3D, 48 fps, etc., or are these just gimmicks to justify inflated ticket prices? (And/or self-indulgence on the part of filmmakers?) Many reviews of Oblivion (2013) comment on how marvelous it looks, “but…”
I’m not even sure I think Oblivion looks...
3 tags
Evil Dead (2013) review
Wow, I really didn’t like this one. Since I tend to avoid films I feel I won’t enjoy, I don’t often write negative reviews, but Evil Dead (2013) wasted my time and that’s a sin which cannot be easily forgiven.
Evil Dead is a remake of The Evil Dead, a cult classic from 1981. The premise is the same: a small group of young people visit a remote cabin, find an old book, unleash demonic...
3 tags
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) review
As a boy, I never owned a “G.I. Joe” action figure. It perhaps says something about my warped youthful self that I did have a “Dr. Evil” figure—he was a super-villain with blue skin and an exposed brain, who wore a shiny nehru jacket and sandals (I wonder where that thing is now? For that matter, I wonder where my yellow-plaid nehru shirt is—I was quite the fashion plate in 7th grade). I...
5 tags
The Croods (2013) review
Animated films—aside from the very few which are aimed at teens or adults—fall into two categories: movies made for children, and movies appropriate for children but made for a general audience (which the studios naturally prefer, since it expands their ticket base). I was afraid The Croods would fall into the former category, but a positive review convinced me to take a chance and I...
March 2013
6 posts
2 tags
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) review
I enjoy action films, and while Olympus Has Fallen isn’t a classic action film, it’s at least an adequately entertaining imitation of a classic (Die Hard), albeit with a vague geopolitical veneer. Lots and lots of people get shot, many, many things blow up real good, and—despite its somewhat excessive length (2 hours)—the pacing is brisk.
Korean terrorists assault the White House and...
4 tags
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) review
Very, very rarely, my expectations for a film are exceeded, but Oz the Great and Powerful managed to do it. This isn’t a timeless cinema classic and it didn’t change my life, but I was pleasantly surprised at the relatively satisfactory overall viewing experience. [Except for the 3-D crap, of course. Yes, we get the de rigueur flying scene, spears and other stuff zooming at the...
4 tags
The Last Exorcism Part II (2013) review
Jokes about the oxymoronic title aside, The Last Exorcism Part II still isn’t a very good movie. The filmmakers got two things right: they discarded the “found footage” gimmick and brought back Ashley Bell (though I’ll admit she didn’t really stand out in The Last Exorcism—in my memory, at least—but she’s pretty darn good here). But otherwise, while this film isn’t horrible, it’s...
5 tags
Snitch (2013) review
If every comedian wants to play Hamlet, does every action star want to become a dramatic AC-TOR? I suppose that’s a bit unfair, since even action movies require a certain level of acting prowess, and I don’t want to suggest otherwise (for fear that Dwayne Johnson, the artist formerly known as “The Rock,” will crush me like a bug). No, seriously, I understand it does take more than physical...
6 tags
Side Effects (2013) review
Steven Soderbergh is one of the more interesting “mid-level” directors of the past several decades (has it been that long since Sex, Lies, and Videotape? Yes, that was way back in 1989…argh). While I don’t actively seek out his films, when I do stumble across one—most recently, Side Effects, and Contagion before that—I generally feel reassured that I’ll...
2 tags
A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) review
Maybe it’s simply a coincidence that new action movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis all appeared in the first two months of 2013. Of course, while Schwarzenegger was otherwise occupied for the past few years, Stallone had already made a comeback of sorts with The Expendables I and II, and Willis has been extremely active—albeit frequently as...
February 2013
4 posts
3 tags
3 tags
Warm Bodies (2013) review
I liked Warm Bodies more than I expected I would. I feared it would be some sort of Twilight clone, or too gimmicky, or too teen-oriented, or…something. Instead, I found it generally entertaining, mildly witty, even a little sweet.
Yes, the basic premise (and numerous specific details in the elaboration of the premise) may not hold up to close scrutiny, but this is...
3 tags
Mama (2013) review
A surprise hit (at least in the context of Crap-Movie January), Mama is both stylish and conventional, and I don’t necessarily mean either one of those as a compliment. Audiences in search of something, anything to relieve their post-Christmas boredom, desperately seized upon this supernatural film and allowed it to earn nearly twice its $15 million cost on its opening weekend...
7 tags
Stand Up Guys (2013) review
Calling a film “predictable” is generally not a recommendation. Yes, Stand Up Guys is definitely predictable, but in a way that’s as warm and comfortable as a favourite old sweater. There are no surprises, yet it’s not boring; the script has its witty moments (and some cringe-worthy ones), but the performances are what drive the movie and make it worth watching.
The plot in brief: Val (Al...
January 2013
6 posts
3 tags
Broken City (2013) review
Another “meh” film released in the January dumping-ground, Broken City on paper might not seem to fit the “born-loser movie” bill. Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe were most recently seen in Ted and Les misérables, respectively—two major motion pictures. The director is Allen Hughes, one of the Hughes Brothers, a reasonably well-regarded filmmaking team. So why are...
2 tags
The Last Stand (2013) review
Why does a film fail at the box-office? Because it’s crap? Because its publicity campaign was crap? Because no one wanted to see it? Because a cabal of sinister forces conspired to destroy it? For any specific failure, the answer might be “yes” to any or all of the above, but just as often a terrible film will make money, a poor ad campaign won’t harm a...
4 tags
Django Unchained (2012) review
Despite his incredible self-indulgence, Quentin Tarantino manages to remain a bankable director. Perhaps it’s because the films he loves and emulates were popular in their day, and retain some of their audience-pleasing power even now. This nostalgia-reboot probably wouldn’t work for every genre, but Django Unchained’s spaghetti Western-blaxploitation combo turned out very...
1 tag
Zero Dark Thirty (2012) review
I had no particular desire to see this film: docu-dramas about recent history aren’t especially interesting to me (which is why I skipped Argo, for instance). But since I didn’t have to pay for a ticket, and since it’s been nominated for various Oscars, and since it’s mildly controversial, I capitulated and watched Zero Dark Thirty. Surprise! It’s not bad at all.
Along...
2 tags
December 2012
4 posts
3 tags
Lincoln (2012) review
Who are all the people seeing Lincoln and why? It’s really done quite well at the box-office, which is slightly puzzling to me, because it’s not, at first glance, an inherently “popular” topic: it’s what one might call a “prestige” picture, a “serious” film. Maybe people feel it’s somehow their duty to attend, that it’s...
4 tags
Jack Reacher (2012) review
I’m not a purist when it comes to film adaptations of literary works. So what if the filmmakers leave out a major character or change the ending or alter the entire point of the original work? There’s a story, possibly apocryphal, about an author who’s asked if he minds “what the movie did to his book.” ”My book is right there,” he replies, pointing to...
2 tags
Life of Pi (2012) review
Expecting (perhaps fearing) something more serious and profound, I was generally entertained by Life of Pi, a CGI-laden adventure film with a slight philosophical bent. Some may feel the true, deeper meaning of the film eluded my prosaic perception, and I’m willing to stipulate that may have been the case. But I feel confident in asserting that Life of Pi is, in any case, more enjoyable and...
November 2012
5 posts
4 tags
Taken 2 (2012) review
Notorious as I am for skipping the early films in long-running series, I turned over a new leaf (this time), and delayed watching Taken 2 until I had seen Taken (2008). Not that the first film was especially necessary to understand the sequel, unlike some series I could mention (*cough Harry Potter cough*), but I’d heard that Taken was a decent action movie, and I enjoy those. Not sure why I...
3 tags
Citadel (2012) review
This film popped up on the IMDB “Opening This Week” list a short time ago (although it appears to have only played on 4 screens in the USA and has made very little money here), so—considering few of the new films currently in cinemas have any appeal at all for me—I decided to give it a go. What really tipped the scales was the fact that Citadel is a UK-Irish co-production...
2 tags
Wreck-It Ralph (2012) review
I’m not, and never have been, a gamer. I may have played a bit of “Pharoah’s Tomb” and “Wolfenstein 3D” in the ’90s, and I may have wasted a fair amount time online with “Bubblespinner” in the late 2000s, but I was neither an arcade rat, a Gameboy geek, nor a World of Warcraft online aficionado. These are pastimes enjoyed by the younger...
3 tags
Skyfall (2012) review
I can’t recall ever seeing a James Bond film that didn’t star Sean Connery. Alright, I did see the one with George Lazenby, and it’s possible I watched one or two of the early Roger Moore versions, but I don’t really remember them. In any event, Skyfall was my introduction to the modern Bond era, and a generally entertaining introduction it was. I can’t say the film needed to be 2 1/4...
3 tags
Sinister (2012) review
Extenuating circumstances delayed my review of Sinister for several weeks, but since the Internet is a timeless repository of accumulated wisdom, I shan’t shirk my responsibility to get my opinions on the record for posterity. And these opinions are? Sinister is a respectable but seriously flawed horror movie, that has the germ of a decent premise but fails to deliver much of...
October 2012
3 posts
4 tags
Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012) review
Cockneys vs. Zombies would make a superb double-feature with Grabbers (2012). Both are highly-amusing, exciting, well-made homages to genre films of the past (Grabbers to monster films, CvZ to, what else, zombie movies). Both are ensemble pictures, both have a lot of local flavour. And of course, to us Yanks (and most of the rest of the world), the English and Irish (and Scots) are all lumped...
3 tags
Dredd 3D review (2012)
Stripped of all but the essentials, Dredd (aka Dredd 3D, although I’d have gone with a title like DreDDD) is (to borrow an over-used phrase) the cinematic equivalent of a video game. As in The Raid (2011) and even Bruce Lee’s Game of Death (1978), the premise of Dredd is simple: the heroes fight their way upstairs in a building full of bad guys. That’s it, no in-depth character development to...
5 tags
Looper (2012) review
Time-travel films (and stories) can be simple or complex. Simple ones—placing the protagonist in a different time period—merely allow for interactions not possible in contemporary settings (i.e., fighting robots or dinosaurs). More complex time-travel tales involve paradoxes, contradictions, what-ifs, ramifications, and other theoretical, moral and philosophical issues. ...
September 2012
3 posts
5 tags
Lawless (2012) review
I was mildly predisposed to like Lawless (2012), even though I’m not a big fan of either Shia LaBeouf or Tom Hardy (I don’t actively dislike either one of them, but I wouldn’t buy a ticket based on their presence in a film). I do, however, enjoy period films set in the Thirties and Forties as well as gangster movies, and this one got extra points because it was set in Virginia (although filmed...
2 tags
The Possession (2012) review
The Possession was released at exactly the right time, during a trough in the film release schedule when it had little or no competition, and thus managed to lead the USA box-office for two weeks despite a distinct lack of originality or other redeeming values. The Possession is essentially a remake of The Exorcist with minimal plot changes and far less character development and...
2 tags
Grabbers (2012) review
An almost-perfect example of a fresh revision of an old idea, Grabbers is an amusing and exciting homage to “isolated community” monster films of the past (The Killer Shrews, Island of Terror, etc.) with clever but not belaboured references to other fantasy films (Tremors, Aliens, Gremlins). Add a cast of pleasant performers playing sympathetic roles, decent special effects...
August 2012
4 posts
4 tags
ParaNorman (2012) review
The recent dearth of interesting new films led me to watch ParaNorman, an animated film about which I had heard little (and cared less). Surprise! I found it generally entertaining and surprisingly serious-minded. I do loves me some stop-motion animation, and while the particular technique and style of ParaNorman aren’t completely to my liking, the overall design and execution are...
6 tags
The Expendables 2 (2012) review
A quintessential guilty pleasure, The Expendables 2 is testosterone-laden fun, even though it didn’t have quite the same impact on me as its predecessor. This may seem odd to the detached observer, since the sequel is in many ways a more accomplished film than the original—a stronger cast, more frequent and arguably better-staged action sequences—but some of the novelty has...
6 tags
Total Recall (2012) review
The plethora of filmic remakes, reboots, and re-visionings, most recently exemplified by Total Recall (2012), begs the question: why? Even if the original was a box-office hit, or has become a beloved cult film, does this automatically guarantee a large audience for a new version? Wouldn’t the opposite also potentially apply (i.e., people who like the original would be biased against a...
4 tags
Savages (2012) review
Although not all of his films reflect it, Oliver Stone is the most overtly political filmmaker in mainstream Hollywood. While I don’t necessarily agree with Stone’s viewpoint all of the time (or even much of the time), it’s refreshing to see someone who challenges the conventional wisdom that popular cinema must be as uncommitted as possible, and must avoid offending anyone who might...
July 2012
4 posts
7 tags
The Dark Knight Rises (2012) review
There’s a gap of about 15 years in my personal film-going history, from about 1990 to the mid-2000s, and as a result, I’ve never seen many well-known films of that era.* This includes all of the previous “Batman” movies (alright, I think I did see the 1966 version with Adam West). I successfully resisted the temptation to go back and watch Christopher Nolan’s first two Bat-epics before I...
4 tags
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012) review
I’m not sure why I even saw this movie—I’m not a kid, I don’t have kids, I’ve never watched the first three Ice Age films, I don’t care about any of the voice actors (at least, enough to watch a movie just for that)—but whatever the reason that I went into the cinema, I left it fairly entertained, although with a lot of questions.
One of the biggest of these questions is “what’s...
4 tags
Ted (2012) review
Based on its stellar box-office performance, Ted obviously is not solely selling tickets to fans of “Family Guy” and “American Dad,” director Seth McFarlane’s best-known projects. Those shows aren’t that popular, so presumably the film is bringing in a lot of uncommitted, Seth McFarlane-neutral viewers, attracted by the promotional ballyhoo and the promise...
4 tags
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) review
Disappointing is the word for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (ALVH). I didn’t have very specific expectations coming in: the title might’ve suggested a campy action movie to some people, and those who’d read the original novel may have had a different idea of what a screen adaptation should’ve been like, but I’d avoided the trailers and other pre-release promotion, and...
June 2012
5 posts
6 tags
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) review
How can so little occur in a film that’s two hours long? Well yes, various things do happen, but it feels like nothing is going on. Snow White, locked in a dungeon by Evil Stepmother Queen, escapes, meets the Huntsman and 7 dwarfs, leads revolt, becomes queen. The end. Oddly enough, I didn’t hate Snow White and the Huntsman, though it squanders a few good ideas, very nice production design and...
3 tags
Prometheus (2012) review
Blade Runner, now 30 years old (gah! Where did those decades go?), is such a fine film that I show it each year in my History of World Cinema course. It’s rich in ideas, the mise-en-scene is excellent, and the personal stories of the characters are affecting. Somehow, I don’t think Prometheus (2012), also directed by Ridley Scott, is going to be shown in film classes thirty years...
4 tags
Apartment 143 (2011) review
Oh joy, another found-footage horror movie. (In case you couldn’t tell, I’m being sarcastic) Apartment 143 is one of those films shown via video on demand first and in a “limited” theatrical release later (the official website indicates it’s scheduled so far for two cinemas in the USA—damn, now that’s limited). I’d like to hear the rationale for this method of exhibition and how...
